If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Success! We fucked roommates!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
