one might say we're banned from that church
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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