Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
