I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize