I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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