Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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