i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
