Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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