We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize