weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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