Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
