Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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