i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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