he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
