The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
