He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
