I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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