I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I will die if light touches me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
