fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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