I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
