Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
this hospital has no fireball
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
