btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
