I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
