in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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