Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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