She is in my trunk
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize