The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
