hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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