The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
