i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize