I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
