Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(478): View more from Georgia

wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.

Fav 13 1279 2371
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.

Fav 89 3288 772
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds

Fav 11 5139 1218
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(520): View more from Arizona

Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.

Fav 5 4579 1468
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"

Fav 19 11273 1630
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(979): View more from Texas

Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.

Fav 11 4411 1243
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(301): View more from Maryland

I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.

Fav 8 2540 1435
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(765): View more from Indiana

Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"

Fav 4 594 1529
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(404): View more from Georgia

He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.

Fav 3 93 50
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