hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
