Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
