yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
