As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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