words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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