Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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