After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Your penis caused this!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
