I think I died a long time ago.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
