If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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