after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
