I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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