she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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