I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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