Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize