their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
