If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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