is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Let's get the cat blown out
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
