talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
