I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
where does the pee come out of this thing
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
