just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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