ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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