I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
