I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
