she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize