I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Randomize
