it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
